“Say no to crack” Dan said coming up behind Emma who was reaching for a pair of shoes he took her belt loops and pulled up her pants for her.
“Daniel!!” Emma screamed in surprise
Dan just rolled his eyes and fixed her pants for her.
“Hey it’s not my fault you think you’re the British Britney Spears. Dan said sitting on the edge of the bed.
Emma glared at him before sitting next to him.
“Someone sounds jealous.” She teased pulling his ear lobe.
“Jealous me? What, just because your going out on a Friday night and I’m going to be stuck at home with Rupert watching re runs of friends and fighting over the last piece of pizza. While you have a wonderful time on your date with Kyle and come home tipsy and start making out with him on the couch that were trying to sit on. Now why in the world would I be jealous?”
She stuck her tongue out at him before pulling him in to a hug
“I love you too,” She breathed in to his ear.
An involuntary shiver went up his spine. They let go of each other and Dan pulled something out of his pocket, before handing it to her.
“What’s this?” She asked suspiciously.
“Condoms” He answered with a cheeky smile “We all know what a little skank you can be better safe than sorry”
“What!” She scoffed.
She tried to hit him but he caught her wrist and forced her down on the bed.
“Is Miss Watson ticklish?” He said as he grabbed her knee and squeezed it.
Emma let out a yelp and tried to pull his hand away.
“Well well well looks like she is” Dan teased moving in for her stomach.
“No don’t please” Emma gasped between giggles.
Dan didn’t let up he attacked her stomach with his fingers not letting go of the squirming Emma under him.
Rupert lazily sat on the couch watching cartoons. Emma always teased him for being seventeen and watching Spongebob but as he said time and time before it teaches him real life lessons. Patrick was just kicking his own arse when the doorbell rang.
He groaned as he unstuck his butt from the couch. He trudged over to the door of the flat him Dan and Emma shared and opened the door.
“Kyle, great to see you how much do we owe you this time for taking Emma off our hands?” He asked as he let Kyle in to the house.
“Actually, I think you over paid me last time so well just count this as the left over” Kyle said sitting down on the couch next to Rupert.
“Sounds good to me” He responded.
Spongebob was back in the Weenie Hut Jr. club when Rupert flipped off the television.
“Now let’s be serious for a moment.”
“We all know that Emma is growing up and is not the little kid we all fell in love with. But that doesn’t mean Dan and I don’t care about her. There will be some rules.
1) You are to pressure her in to having sex with you.
2) Make her pay for everything, don’t try and be a gentleman Emma hate’s gentleman besides she’s a gazillion year she can cough up a couple bucks
3) When you lean in to kiss her make sure you shove her tongue down her throat, if she can breathe than it’s not in far enough.
I think that about covers it at the end of the night don’t forget to grab her arse and tell her she’s fat.” Rupert finished.
“Wow man I have never met a boy who cared more about a girl.”
“What can I say Emma’s my boo”
“Speaking of Emma I should go get her” And with that he walked out of the room.
* * *
“Say uncle” Daniel said feverishly tickling her.
“Uncle, Uncle” Emma gasped.
“Say Daniel is the hottest Brit around and you want to fuck his brains out”
“Daniel.. Gasp is the hot gasp.” Before she could finish Rupert walked in to the room.
“Jeeez you to the least you could do is put something on the door handle, so I let Kyle know that it may be awhile. And Emma come on right before your date?” He asked leaning in the doorway.
“Thank god I thought Daniel was going to kill me,” Emma said as Daniel rolled off her.
“Kyle’s here” Rupert said from the doorway.
“Perfect.. You didn’t give him the talk did you?” Emma asked her eyes narrowing.
“Nope of course not” he said giving her a hug and winking at Daniel.
“Good now remember you two only two crack whores tonight I don’t need this whole house infested with STD’s have fun and don’t forget to tip the pizza man…”
“And by tip I don’t mean by telling him I will give him head when I come home.”
Emma said glaring at Rupert who was now snickering remembering last time.
Dan and Rupert sat silently on the bed until they heard the car pull away.
“Finally she’s gone now we can make out,” Rupert said.
“I have a better idea, let’s go spy on Emma!”
“What why?” Rupert asked giving Dan a puzzled look.
“I know we joke around with her a lot but I dunno she is like our little sister and well as much as I hate to admit it I’m worried. I know Kyle is a great guy and all but I just want to make sure he doesn’t do anything to hurt her.” Dan said looking down at his shoes.
Rupert laid back on the bed and let out a sigh, “alright where is my spy gear?”
* * *
What movie are we going to see?” Emma asked as Kyle helped her out of the car.
“I thought we would go see Goblet of Fire, that chick that plays Hermione is a fox,” Kyle said grabbing her hand as they walked up to the theatre.
“Oh I know” Emma said playing along, “I would go gay for her any day” They shared a smile before heading inside.
Dan and Rupert were late getting to the theatre because they had to stop at Taco Bell.
“Can’t spy on someone with out a Taco” Rupert said as they walked up to the boy behind the booth.
“Yes two British kids walked through here ordering ticket’s a little bit ago what movie did they buy?” Rupert asked
“Well considering we live in Great Britain and all of us are British, but if your talking about your Co Star Emma Watson she and some boy bought tickets to Goblet of Fire, can we say full of themselves?”
Dan and Rupert quietly snuck in the theatre after they had stopped at the concession stand and loaded up on popcorn and candy. They saw Kyle and Emma near the top.
“Figures they would sit up there everyone knows that’s where you go to snog” Dan said as they put the pop corn bowls in front of their faces to conceal their identity.
They sat a few row’s back and leaned forward trying to hear what they were saying.
“My favorite scene is the Yule ball, when Hermione’s wearing that tight Dress, you can see her boobs perfectly.” Kyle was saying.
Dan felt his hands clench in to fist’s when he heard Kyle say this.
Emma hit him on the arm hey those are my boobs you dork and besides Dan has already claimed them as his own he’s always peaking down my shirt!”
“Damn right their my boobs’ Dan said bitterly..
“What did you say mate?” Rupert asked through mouth flu of popcorn.
Kyle put his arm around the back of Emma’s chair and that was about the extent of the first half hour.
“Dan let’s go this is getting quite boring I mean nothing is going to happen and after filming this movie for a year I really don’t fancy watching it” Rupert said stifling a yawn.
“Yea I guess your right let’s wait five minutes and leave” Dan said leaning back.
Than it happened Kyle slid his arm down so it now rested on Emma’s shoulder and she leaned in and laid her head on his shoulder.
“Oh no he didn’t!” Dan said shooting up from his chair.
“You do realize you sounded like a girl when you said that right?” Rupert said to his friend.
“Not the point look he made a move on her, give me that pop corn. Dan took the popcorn from Rupert’s hand and when Kyle was whispering something in Emma ear through the whole thing at them.
“Ahhh” What the he-“
Emma stopped when she turned around and saw Dan standing there quite surprised at what he did with a laughing Rupert right by him.
“Daniel Jacob Radcliffe, and Rupert Alexander Grint in the lobby now” She screamed not even caring that she was interrupting the movie.
“Hey bitch shut the fuck up Naked Harry on the screen!” A girl a few row’s down yelled.
Emma ignored her and followed the boys as they made their walk of shame down the steps.
When they made it in the lobby she went berserk on them.
“What in the hell are you doing here? Is this some kind of sick joke? I’m on a date if you haven’t noticed I mean for god sakes throwing popcorn at us?”
Actually it was a tub of popcorn” Rupert cut in.
“Shut up Rupert! Emma snarled.
“You guy’s are the two most immature people I have ever known I can take care of myself. I don’t need you two Gallo lamping around acting like your James Bond. How could you two embarrass me like that Kyle is a great guy. Not to mention I was screaming in the middle of the theatre, and do you know how long it’s going to take to get the smell of popcorn out of my hair? What were you two thinking?” Emma was practically screaming at the two boys
“We were just trying to protect you” Dan said in almost a whisper.
“I don’t need you two to protect me I’m sixteen years old, the damsel in distress is so 1600’s.” She said breathlessly.
“What can we do to make it up to you?” Rupert asked getting the courage to talk now that Emma had stopped screaming.
“Yes, we will do anything” Dan said piping in.
“I am to upset to think right now, but do know that you will be punished, now I’m going to find Kyle and apologize for your childish behavior. Good night”
“Night” The two boy’s mumbled. Dan was a little relieved that at least now she was gone.
* * *
“I have thought of the perfect punishment,” Emma said coming down to breakfast the next morning.
“Dan put down the spoon in his hand and turned towards her.
“Alright what’s the damage?” He asked preparing for the worst
“Well as you all know at the end of the date the boy gives the girl a goodnight kiss. Since you two ruined my night before we never got that far, I have decided that I want you two to reenact the kiss for me” She said with a devilish smile.
“So you want Rupert and I to kiss you?” Dan asked trying to get the whole thing right.
“No” Emma said simply.
“I want you to kiss Rupert”
“WHAT?! THERE IS NO WAY I’M KISSING RUPERT!” Dan screamed.
“Dan’s right Emma I mean I know we embarrassed you but making us kiss” Rupert said backing Dan up.
“Embarrassed, embarrassed is when you trip in the hallway. What you two did to me goes beyond embarrassing not only did you humiliate me in front of Kyle but my explosion is now on the front page of every magazine in the world! She said holding up a copy of Teen People.”
“She has a point,” Dan said giving in.
“Oh come on Rupert you like to watch Will & Grace with me, just pretend your Will, and Dan can be Jack.” Emma said sweetly.
The two boys exchanged looks before moving in.
“Oh I almost forgot since the papers have a picture of me acting like a fool, I need one you two doing something stupid she said pulling out her camera.”
The two boy’s knew it was useless to argue, the grit their teeth and moved in.
Emma got her camera ready and snapped a shot as the boy’s lips barely touched.
They both flew apart and began wiping their mouths.
“I hope your happy Emma” Dan said while Rupert gargled water.
“OO I am” She replied
“She walked up to Dan and gave him a hug, and since I didn’t get my good night kiss”
She than leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Dan’s lips.
Next she turned to Rupert, now I know you don’t like showing affection so I’ll spare you the kiss” She said pulling him in to a hug.
She grabbed her camera before walking out.
“Well I can’t wait to get this developed” she called behind her back.
Dan and Rupert stood there dumbfounded.
They each learned a valuable lesson that day never mess with Emma Watson.